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Posts Tagged ‘anal’

These are lessons I’ve learned through my years of exploits. If you like them, then go back and read previous posts to get the full lessons.
  • You will NEVER meet a decent guy in a bar
  • If you just want to kick a man out of bed after anything sexual, or the next morning, then you don’t like him.
  • If a guy really like you then he will come to you. He doesn’t make you chase him.
  • Don’t say “Will you kiss me?” when asking for a blow job. I don’t know why, but it’s always annoyed me. Ask will you go down on me.
  • When having sex with whip cream just use little bits at a time, and lick it off. Don’t cover your whole body.
  • Women, DON’T tell a man you’re NOT going to have sex with him unless you MEAN IT!
  • To get morning sex from a woman kiss the back of her neck a few times and then ignore her. To get sex without trying then just don’t try and we’ll eventually want to jump your bones.

    This does exist in Prague. The penis also moves.

     

  • Men, don’t kick a woman out in the middle of the night! And if you do you better ensure that she gets home safely.
  • Use lube if you are prone to soreness during sex. Lube is God’s girft to women.
  • Use a vibtrating cock ring during sex. You’ll understand once you try it.
  • Ignore queefs. They happen.
  • Say “I like it when…” when you are trying to change a man in bed.
  • Women, let a man put his finger in your butthole. Don’t knock it till you try it. Men, put a finger in a girl’s butthole, but very slowly. Tease around the area for a while, and most likely it’ll turn her on so much she’ll let you do it.
  • Dress somewhere between prude and slut on a first date. Cover up some, but try to show a good amount of cleavage. Even if you’re sitting at a table the whole time he can see your cleavage.
  • Your parents were right “He’s after one thing, and one thing only”. ALWAYS. Just assume it.
  • Have an after sex towel by your bed. No one wants to lie around feeling lubey down there, and it makes for easy clean up.
  • When it comes to fingering and eating out you can never go wrong with light or teasing. Rubbing and licking hard gets boring fast, light teasing constantly drives a woman crazy. Use a mix of both.

More to come. I have learned a lot.

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All girls, and guys for that matter, have it. The number off the people we’ve slept with. It is a number we love or hate. I personally HATE my number. I never tell anyone but close, nonjudgmental friends. Usually ones whose numbers are larger. My number is 24. I am 21 and started having sex at 17. This number seems to be astronomical, but the funny thing is I don’t have sex constantly. I start seeing someone, after a bit we sleep together, and then a lot of the time it doesn’t pan out, or I move. I usually sleep with five guys a year. That’s one for every couple of months. It’s not like I’m bringing home a new guy every night, but when I look at that number that’s what it feels like. Like that word we all think, but never want to say, SLUT. I get tested, I always ALWAYS use a condom, and I always ask about STD’s first (and yes I know guys might lie, but it’s better to at least ask). So….

How many men is too many men? (or women)

Sagrada Familia in Barcelona

I think that it should be as long as you enjoy it and you’re safe it’s okay, but no matter what I still know men and society would judge me. A guy asks, but never wants to hear a girl list a number that high. Honestly it’s bullshit, that it’s okay for men to sleep with anything, but because my number is high and I’m a woman it’s considered slutty.

I look back at my list and there are mistakes. Men I wish I could erase. Losers who were using me for sex, but growing up is about mistakes, and I’ve never once gotten pregnant or gotten an STD so I think I’m doing good. There are also plenty of men I’ve enjoyed, and who I’m happy I’ve slept with, even if it wasn’t about a lasting relationship. Sometimes the sex, the cuddling, and the continual friendship I’ve had with them is what it’s about.

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Spots that turn a decent amount of girls on, and most men as well:

  • Kissing the back of the neck. We like that so please do it. While we’re spooning is nice, but feel free to come up behind us, pull our hair aside and kiss the back of our necks.
  • The ear is a great place. The key is to do it right. Don’t slobber over our ears. Gently nibble on the, and for the best effect let out a little breath or even a ever so soft moan into our ear and it will get us going. Same works on guys, believe me.
  • Our inner thighs are crucial. If you want to eat us out don’t just stay on our pussy. Take moments to tease us by moving away and kissing the inside of our thighs.
  • Our fingertips are a great sensitive area. Please kiss them and just slightly put them in you mouth. It’s hot and feels good.
  • Pulling our hair gently feels great. It reminds us that you aren’t entirely a good little boy.

If only snow wasn't so cold.

So everyone remember that you have to give love to a lot of different spots on the body. Not just the genitals.

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Now I have never been a fan of the idea of food sex. I love food. And I love sex, but the idea of combining to two just seemed like a messy idea that probably would sound better than it would be. This I have found is not actually the case. Now the key I have learned is in moderation. If you cover large portions of yourself in whip cream your just going to end up sticky and gross, but if you use it in moderation it can be a lot of tasty fun.

Washington Square Park

This new guy and I decided on the spur of the moment to have some fun with whip cream. We picked up a can on the way back to his place. There we fooled around on the couch and the floor, and using the whip cream. He would squirt just a dab of it on my nipple and eat it off. Or make a a happy trail on me and eat it all the way down. Now the key hear was using just a little bit at a time. I would do the same to him. Just put a little in your partner’s erogenous zone and lick it off. It’s a lot of fun.

He actually lived with his parents though, and the next day he had to explain to his mom why he had a bottle of whip cream in his room, and a condom wrapper in his pant’s pocket.

This experience also reminded me of the crazy food sex ideas my friends and I would come up with when we were just dirty minded kids. The top two were masturbating with a candy bar, which would make you taste good if a guy ate you out after. The other was to get hot doughnuts from Krispy Kreme and put them on a guys penis and eat them off . Makes for an interesting and tasty start to a blow job. To be clear I’ve never actually tried either of these, they were just wild ideas. But if you do try them let me know how it goes.

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I date in NYC, so I have seen just about every line guys use to get you back to their apartment, or yours. At the end of a date a guy will try to entice you back to their place.

  • Trying to invite you over for a drink, or to share a bottle of wine. The drinking portion will last two seconds, and they they will be trying to get into your pants.
  • Saying that they have a great roof to hang out on. They also have a bedroom, but they don’t bring that up until five minutes of hanging out on the roof.
  • Television, watching a movie, or watching a sports game is less used, but I have seen it. And you will not get to watch any of the movie.
  • Weed. And you’ll only actually get to smoke if you’re lucky. Sometimes they’re asses who promise to smoke you up, but only try to screw you instead.
  • If they have a car in NYC, they will try to offer to give you a ride home in hopes that once your in the car it will be harder for you to say no to coming over.

Cony Island

Know one thing, even if you tell them before you agree to come over that you will not be fooling around with them, and that you hate when guys try that, they still will. Rule of thumb, DO NOT go to their place unless you want to fool around.

Also, even your place is a no no. They will still try to get into your pants. Do not think you are better off at fending them off there.

And men, the reason women don’t want to sleep with you is because you are always trying to immediately get into their pants. Just because you spent $7 on a gin an tonic does not mean we are fair game. This especially goes for not as attractive looking men going on a date with a more attractive girl. In their mind they are already taking a step down the looks ladder because they like your personality. They are NOT going to sleep with you right away. Women will sleep with gorgeous guys sooner, but that’s because they are more sexually attracted to them.

Recently I went out with this short so-so looking guy. He was a few inches shorter than me, and not as attractive as I usually date, but he had a great personality. Our date was really fun, and we had lots to talk about. After he offered me a ride home, then he tried to talk me into coming back to his place to share a bottle of wine. I said no, but that he could come over to my place and drink it. He was up for it, until I mentioned that I shared a room with a girl, he then abruptly dropped me off at my place. Ya he’s definitely an ass, and I may sound cocky, but he’s definitely not hot enough for me to fool around with right away.

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My friend was recently strapped for cash, so she took a job as a professional dominatrix at a dungeon. She’s never done this sort of work before, but the  manager seemed nice and told her no sex was involved.

She went in for her first night where she would be training by working with the other girls. She kept getting offered jobs, but a lot of them she turned down. One man she turned down liked to have four girls in the room. One to have for him to look at, one to twist his nipples,one to jerk him off , and one to shove a dildo up his ass. I don’t actually think this is legal. He is a regular supposedly, so they do things they normally don’t do for most clients. You can understand why she didn’t want to work that job.

Next she was offered to wrestle a man in her underwear. He was in a speedo and he taught the girls wrestling moves and had them try them out on him, but he did not wrestle back. They choked him, and kicked him in the balls repeatedly.

She decided to turn down a bunch of jobs because she didn’t want to pee on anyone, give an enema, or make out with other girls (her boyfriend considers that cheating). She was just about to give up and quit when the manager told her there was a man coming in who only wanted to smoke cigarettes with her, so she agreed. She came in and he asked for some time to prepare for the session. She left the room and when she came back he was buck naked wearing a mask that had a tube coming from his mouth. She had to puff the ciggs and blow smoke through the tube to him while he jacked himself off. Some people are turned on by strange things. For this she got paid $80 and a $20 tip. She had to smoke like 10 ciggs and her mouth tasted of smoke until the next night.

So if you are considering working at a dungeon know that it is not all whipping men and calling them names. It is a sketchy business that is only suited for some.

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So I have found that all men tend to make the same mistakes which lead to women not wanting to sleep with them. Lately every guy I go out with has actually made me not ever want to sleep with them even though I am craving sex like no other. So men here is what women want in a nutshell:

Women want to feel like sex is their idea!

Art Piece on top of the Met

I know you think your chances are getting better by nudging us towards sex, but unless she is a desperate slut with no feeling of self worth she is more likely to sleep with you if you don’t push. Here is an example:

I dated this dominican guy a while back (the one with the foot fetish and who banged me like a jackhammer in a bad way) well he never tried anything more then kissing in the car. He never invited me back to his place to “watch tv” or “drink wine” (women are not idiots). So it got to the point where I was dying to sleep with him and asked him to stay the night at my place. He got laid.

We drifted apart soon after, and I didn’t really care because he was shit in bed. Now I had met his brother on our second date when he took me to a family barbecue (awkward date, never ask a girl to something like this especially if everyone there speaks spanish and she doesn’t). Well his brother is an actor and we had a great chat so we became facebook friends. A week ago his brother asked me out after finding out we haven’t been dating for a while. I promise it wasn’t as weird as it sounds. We went out and grabbed dinner and had a fun time. We sat in his car at the end of the date and he kissed me, and he seemed kind of sweet and nice. We had talked about watching a movie and getting stoned sometime, so he invited me over for Wednesday. I usually never got to a guy’s place on a second date, but I made an exception.

I get there and he is all over me. He suggests watching tv in the bedroom and we’ll “get to the movies later”. Now HERE is where he made his mistake. I was immediately turned off because he kind of forced fooling around as soon as I got in the door. Unlike the British guy who would turn on the tv and we would cuddle and talk for a little while before getting to it, this guy tried to get me straight away.

Now how to get laid is to make the girl feel like sex isn’t forced upon her. If you invite her over to watch movies and smoke pot, follow through on it for a bit. Smoke pot, start a movie, as if your innocent and the plan wasn’t just to fuck her. Then see if she starts to come to you during the movie. If she doesn’t try subtly to get her a few kisses here and there and see how she responds. If she’s not into it and you try to force it most likely you won’t get laid then or ever in the future. Sometimes patience is a virtue.

Girls find it sexy when they feel like they are pushing sex on the guy. It’s a huge turn on for it to be our idea, and ours alone.

Also if you are making out and you try moving the girls hand down to your crotch that is most likely a mistake. If you do it once and she doesn’t seem into it, leave it be, because most likely she’ll just get annoyed and never want to get you off. You have a better chance of trying to fool around with her parts then you getting her to fool around with yours. Ya women also only really care about themselves and if they’re going to get off.

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