Posts Tagged ‘bars’

Since last writing I have become a professional hula hooper. Yes, that may sound strange, but I do much more than simply hula hoop. Think circus tricks with a hula hoop. It doesn’t hurt that I have a body that looks great in a bikini (believe me I still have all the normal complexes women have anyway). This has helped me with street performing and with getting jobs LED hooping in clubs. I would tell you to look me up on youtube, but I’m anonymous on here so sorry.

HIgh Tea

High Tea at the British Museum

One day while street performing a gorgeous young guy sat near me writing. I barely ever saw him looking at me to my dismay. I’m used to guys oggling or asking me out when I street perform. Finally when I was one my break he came over and asked if I would be interested in performing at a friend’s gig. We got to talking and I asked if he would like to get coffee, and he then asked me for lunch instead. We spent the rest of the day together, oh and I forgot to mention he was Australian. Yeah, gold mine. He was a total sweetheart and we ended up spending the next few days side by side. He never pressured me for sex either. We spent our whole second date watching youtube videos in my bed, and he never tried a thing until I began making out with him. Then it was hot and heavy, but he never tried to push sex on me. He was always willing to come to my place, and to leave at 1 am when I kicked him out because of an early class. After a month of tye dying, lunch dates, nights cuddling, and yes very hot sex (came every time) he had to leave for Australia. He wanted me to wait for him to come back in a couple of months but I have made no promises. We still skype for an hour or so every few days. Sometimes I’m topless and touching myself (all my own idea not his., though he appreciates greatly). This instant click has reminded me of two very important lessons that all women, and especially all women in NYC need to remember.

1. You will NEVER meet a decent guy in a bar.

I know it seems like a bar is the only place to meet a man, and I thought so too for a long time, but you will never meet one there. They only want hook ups. Even when they ask you on a date, these guys are only in it for the end game. Spare yourself the time, and learn this rule. Of course if you like free meals then go out with guys from bars, and tune out everything they say.

2. If a guy really like you then he will come to you.

There are no mixed signals from a guy who really likes you. You should both feel that instant click. He will come to where ever you want, when you want. You won’t have to come to his neck of the woods, he will come to yours. He will work hard to be in your life, and he won’t play games. The guys who have truly liked me have always been clear about it. And it is true if his signals are off then he probably just isn’t that into you.

Now hopefully all will work out with the Australian, but while he”s gone I’ve started sleeping with my new Hot Dork. See next blog post for details.

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I have never completely believed in the rule of dibs. I’ve always had more of a guys personality and believed if you and a friend both like the same person a friendly competition is no problem. This however is not shared by the other females in my life. In my previous post I talked about a guy I met at a bar while with friends. They had been there for a while when I showed up. The guys they were talking to eventually left, and new guys took their place. I smiled at one and he came over and began talking to me. We flirted for five minutes or so, and in that time he mentioned a few activities I thought were interesting and he asked if I would join him next time.

I'm a member of MomaI turned to the bar to get a drink, and when I turned around one of my friends had come over to talk to him. This is fine by me. I don’t have any claim to him. My friend suggested we all go sit on the couch, and he turned to get us drinks. While his back was turned she started telling me that she had dibs. Now I don’t really believe in dibs, but especially not when I’ve already been talking to the guy first. We all sat and chatted for a while and she eventually left for a smoke.

While she was gone he asked if I would go to dinner with him sometime yada yada yada. We exchanged phone numbers, and later we made out a bit. My friend comes back and makes a hissy fit about she wants to go home, and since we were all roommates we left to take her home. For the next two days she refused to speak to me (which is awkward when you share a small apartment).

Then when we all went out for our Monday night karaoke as usual it led to her further ignoring me, and me crying. I hate fights, and I hate the silent treatment. When we finally spoke she said before I got there her and that boy had been talking and I got in her way. Honestly how was I supposed to know she had been talking before? Am I crazy or is she acting completely unreasonably and being a shitty friend?

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When It Rains It Pours

For some reason as soon as I have a little luck in my love life I have a huge influx of men in my life. I’ve had a bit of a dry spell until recently. First at a bar in Brooklyn I was asked to swing dance by a very tall and kind of dorky cute kind of guy. He didn’t ask for my number though, so when I saw him standing outside alone, I just ran up and handed him my number on a sheet of paper, without saying a word. We went on a few dates. He was sweet, but rather shy.

Go to Battery Park and see Tom Otterness's workI invited him to karaoke with friends one day and he declined. Funny enough, that night I ran into a guy that I found ridiculously attractive. We talked, and he told me he was an exotic dancer. I was intrigued. He got my number and recently we went on a date. We did karaoke. It turns out the stripper thing was a lie, god knows why a guy would say that, but instead he was a former male model who now does construction and is a singer (and an amazing one at that). At the end of our date we had a passionate kiss, and he already wanted to make plans for the following weekend.

I head downtown and meet up with my girlfriends. There I meet a tall hot guy who seems immediately into me. He says he is a paleantologist, which later he admits is a lie. Why do you guys lie about your jobs? He tells me he wants to take me to dinner sometime and we exchange numbers. We also somehow end up making out a little bit, I think because my friend was making out with his friend and we felt left out.

On the way home he texts and asks if my friend and I will come over, and we decline, and he asks if I’m still up for dinner sometime. The question I have is, how often to girls go home with guys they just met? How many girls are that slutty? I love sex, but I’m not hooking up with a guy I met five minutes ago.

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I have yet to decide whether hooking up with guys you’ve dumped is a good or bad idea. On the one hand you’re sleeping with someone you know and trust when you’re drunk and horny, on the other they hate that you don’t want to be with them, and you hate yourself the next morning when you can’t get rid of them.

Random marching band near the Met.

Yesterday was Saint Patrick’s Day. My friends and I started drinking at 6. We had one drink at every bar. We got VERY drunk. When we stopped at our usual watering hole for drinks and food I actually walked through the bar in my bra on a dare (and some young man in his boxers came with me). After that we headed to some bar that had live music.

We get to the door and it costs six dollars. I’m broke and don’t want to pay for some band I don’t know, so my friend pays for me to get in. Once we’re inside I immediately run into an ex. We broke up a little while back and after booty calling him a couple times he told me to delete his number and stay away. He’s happy to see us though, and informs us his band (that he plays guitar in) will be playing. I’m shocked and a bit upset. We did not end things well. I spend part of the time he is playing crying drunkenly in the back for God knows what reason.

After they played we headed with him to one of his favorite bars that we all love as well. At some point he helps my friend score some coke, and I am not too happy about this. She comes back from the bathroom sniffling, and precedes to make out with a few different men. We all keep just trying to keep track of her. Soon we all head back home. My ex comes as well, and he helps us get her back. Along the way we meet a gay man who wants to take her to a party, and then buys her flowers. We finally pry them apart, and I begin to use my babysitting skills on her. I now know people on coke are like five year olds, and asking them which Disney princess is their favorite distracts them.

When we get back we put her to sleep, and then start getting it on. It was good, and very enjoyable. Waking up the next morning and he is there is not quite as much. I awkwardly say goodbye to him, and later that day find a mean message from him on facebook to some drunken rambling I sent him last night, when we were apart for a bit. Then I go and find my friend, and the first thing she asks is, “Where did I get the flowers?”

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