Posts Tagged ‘first time’

Spots that turn a decent amount of girls on, and most men as well:

  • Kissing the back of the neck. We like that so please do it. While we’re spooning is nice, but feel free to come up behind us, pull our hair aside and kiss the back of our necks.
  • The ear is a great place. The key is to do it right. Don’t slobber over our ears. Gently nibble on the, and for the best effect let out a little breath or even a ever so soft moan into our ear and it will get us going. Same works on guys, believe me.
  • Our inner thighs are crucial. If you want to eat us out don’t just stay on our pussy. Take moments to tease us by moving away and kissing the inside of our thighs.
  • Our fingertips are a great sensitive area. Please kiss them and just slightly put them in you mouth. It’s hot and feels good.
  • Pulling our hair gently feels great. It reminds us that you aren’t entirely a good little boy.

If only snow wasn't so cold.

So everyone remember that you have to give love to a lot of different spots on the body. Not just the genitals.

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When I lost my virginity it was very much planned. I’m not talking candles or any of that nonsense, but I knew who and what day I was losing it. So I had time to prepare myself. Here is my advice to any girl who is about to pop their cherry. Sorry guys, I don’t really have any advice for you other than practice putting on a condom.

  • Stretch yourself out. I was one of the lucky girls who didn’t bleed (years of dancing probably did the trick), but either way it will hurt less and make you less nervous if you aren’t quite as tight. Hopefully it will keep you from bleeding as well. You can do this a number of ways. Fingering is one. Masturbation using a vibrator. One of the best ways is to stretch yourself out in the bath tub. The hot water helps.
  • Make sure you have a lot of foreplay. There is no need to rush, and if the guy is trying to rush you he probably isn’t worth fucking. The foreplay gets you wet and ready and will help make for better sex.
  • My biggest advice is USE LUBE. I didn’t for my first time, but later in life when I discovered lubrication I realized it was God’s gift to women. It will help make you a little less sore after your first time. Even if you are wet that can disappear during sex. Lube will last longer. It takes a little while to find the right lube. Make sure it is one that won’t hurt the condom.
  • And of course I know it’s corny, but make sure you are ready. Every woman should remember that sex is never about pleasing a man. It is about pleasing yourself. I don’t do things in bed to make the man happy. I do things that make myself happy, and that usually ends up pleasing them even more because I am enjoying it.
  • Oh and make sure the guys not a douche. He doesn’t have to be your boyfriend or anything, but if he’s an asshole you will regret it.

Just know that there is no flash of lightning, no sudden change. It may be awful. Even if it’s not it will probably be mediocre. You’ll be confused of why sex is a big deal. Believe me it gets better. It gets addictive and amazing.

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Ten Dating Rules:

  1. Be yourself. Unless yourself is bat shit crazy. Then just be a tiny bit toned down version of yourself.
  2. Dress somewhere between prude and slut on a first date. Cover up some, but try to show a good amount of cleavage. Even if you’re sitting at a table the whole time he can see your cleavage. (If you’re flat chested like me use those gooey inserts that clasp in the middle that give you instant cleavage, plus a push up bra).
  3. Your parents were right “He’s after one thing, and one thing only”. ALWAYS. Just assume it.
  4. Guys want what they can’t have. For years I didn’t want relationships, so guys always wanted me. Whenever I want one is when it is harder to get one.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask crazy questions. I actually sometimes play a game of questions with guys I like. Ask them what their fav sex position is, or where they lost their virginity. Usual answer: doggy style and car.
  6. Don’t talk about future plans with them. Guys tend to spook easily like horses.
  7. I usually fool around with them on the third date, and sleep with them on the fourth. But do whatever feels right to you. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are a prude or a slut.
  8. Don’t be afraid to make the moves with guys you like. If I haven’t heard from a guy 4 days after meeting him at a bar then I will text him to ask him to get together. I’ve gotten plenty of dates that way.
  9. Try to date a few guys at once. All you need to get a date, is to have a date. It really is true usually. Plus it will keep you from falling to hard for one guy (which will usually make him want you more), and let you have a back up.
  10. Assume all guys are lying douchebags who only want to get in your pants, and then never see you again. When they’re not you’ll be pleasantly surprised. (Sorry boys, but to survive dating it helps to just assume it.)

Those are just a few tidbits I’ve learned. I’m a little jaded, but I date in NYC so I’ve seen it all.

Fountain in Washington Square park.

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How to get morning sex, or just sex in general from women is simple. Now I’m not telling you how to get a one night stand or what not, but I will help you understand women a bit ( or at least some women, we are all different). Just like guys women want what they can’t have. Guys love the thrill of the chase, but so do women. Everyone responds well to a little flirtation and then a bit of distance.

The original building of the Met which has been built around.

When I meet a guy in a bar, and he is all over me I am usually repelled by that. Last night I met a cute guy in a bar (and then my friend ditched me there without telling me, bitchy move), but this guy came on very strong. He kept getting very close to me, and being way more flirtatious than I was. I was disgusted, and even when he offered to buy me a drink I turned it down, and made an excuse and left. I rarely turn down free drinks, but I did not want to talk to this guy a minute longer.

Now when I am on a date with a guy, and he flirts with me a bit, but then pulls back and gives me some distance I want sex with him more. This one guy I dated would never try to come in to my place or anything. We would only kiss goodnight, until finally I made blatantly clear I wanted to sleep with him, and then he came in. I tend to wait longer to sleep with guys who I feel are only there for sex.

Now MORNING SEX. The same rules apply. I hate when I am still groggy and a guy is all over me, trying to get me into sex. Grinding against me with his hard on, and trying to finger me while I’m still dry. NO. The best way to get morning sex from me, and many of the women I’ve talked to is make it feel likes it’s our idea. Every woman has a turn on spot. Mine is my back of my neck, and this probably works on most women. Spoon her for a little bit (not sexually) and kiss the back of her neck a little bit, and then turn over and ignore her. When a guy does this then I’m the one who is wanting sex, and instead of wanting to push the guy away and go back to sleep I climb on top of him. Now it may not always work because sometimes you are to hungover or tired to care, and in these cases grinding your hard on into her wouldn’t have helped your case anyway.

So boys, don’t be overly aggressive. Flirt a bit, and then give distance. Don’t make us feel like you are trying to get us back to your place from the first minute, and we all see through the hey lets go have a drink on my rooftop or watch some tv excuse. Make us want to take you home, but remember that some women are too shy to make the first sexual move, so if you finally feel she’s into it you might still have to make the suggestion.

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The Brit and I have had the world’s worst timing. We were supposed to get together for our fourth date last Thursday, but of course I had come down with shingles (adult chicken pox). And by Friday they were looking better, though not gone, so I thought I could see him. Turns out he is one of the only adults who has never had the chicken pox, so I couldn’t see him until they are all better. So we plan for Tuesday instead.

Dinosaurs! Raar!

Monday he messages me, and asks me to come over, but of course I have to work. Tuesday he cancels because he has to work very late, and of course Wednesday he is headed back to the UK for two weeks because he doesn’t have a visa, and can only stay 90 days at a time. He says he could see me around 4 on Wednesday, but not before. Of course this is the time I start work, so it seems like a dead end for the next two weeks.

Wednesday he texts me and tells me he’ll be home around 2 if I want to come over. I go to the pool near his house, until he is home at 2. Finally the planets are aligned. My shingles have pretty much entirely dried up, so I don’t worry about giving him the chicken pox. We sit on the couch for a few minutes just watching tv and talking, and cuddling. I like this, it makes it seem as if I wasn’t just there entirely for sex.

We finally begin making out, and he begins to pull down my dress and slowly take off my bra. He is kissing my nipples, and it feels amazing. I get on top of him and kiss down his neck, and do my favorite little bit where I nibble on his ear, and then let out a very soft little moan. We take off the rest of our clothing, and I run to grab the lube from my bag. Once he has a condom on he asks me to get on top. I prefer usually to start on bottom, but I hop right up there. I feels large, and amazing and painful all at once. We just go at it on the couch for a while. Then while I’m on bottom he tells me to pput my arms and legs around him, and then he lifts me up. I’ve never had a guy who could just completely lift me with him inside of me, and carry me around.

He takes me to the table and lays me down. We start going faster, and faster at it. He goes at it hard, but very deep, which is what I like. He picks me up and takes me to his bed and we begin at it yet again. At this point we are getting very sweaty. We begin the position that is basically spooning and fucking at the same time, and it feels wonderful. Then he tells me to lay on my stomach. He fucks me this way. He takes my arms and pull them behind me, and hold them down on my back. I always like feeling like I’m losing control, as long as I know I haven’t really lost it. I wish he had started spanking me, but of course he never thought to.

After a bit more of me on top we finally quit at it. We are both exhausted. We lay on the bed for a bit, and then head to the shower. I am not a fan of shower sex. Even when I use lube it seems to disappear, and it always becomes a struggle to get the cock in without tearing up my vagina. Instead we just fooled around some more. Also shower sex with someone who is 6’4″ could be very difficult.

After the shower we sit around his apartment for a bit, and just hang. He draws and cat on my leg with a pen. We finally head out to get some pizza. It is pouring rain, and we just walk through it, and it feels great to me. I find out through the course of this day he hasn’t had sex since April when he broke up with his girlfriend, and that they broke up because they just drifted apart. He’ll be staying with his parents in the country side in England for the next 2 weeks, and he said he’ll call me when he gets back. He better because I forgot my bikini and towel at his place and by god I want them back. He tried to get me to leave the lube, but hell no. All in all taking away the fact that I didn’t have an orgasm still the best sex I’ve had since I moved to NYC.

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So yesterday I had the worst first date I have ever had. I’ve been at least somewhat lucky with first dates up to this point, but this one put awkward and uncomfortable to a new level. The other day when I was walking down the street I was asked out by a guy. We go to the same university, so I thought what the hell, I’ll go out with him. He is tall and indian, so somewhat good looking, though indian isn’t really my type (nothing racist here, everyone has types they are attracted to, I tend to like latin or european men).

I need to take more photos.

He called me up to go out, and we met and went for a walk in central park. I could tell within the first few minutes that I was just not into this guy. I would ask questions, and after he answered there would be these long awkward silences, and I finally would start talking again just to fill the awkward void. He also has only recently moved to NYC from Boston, and before that India, and he kept talking down to me as if I had only just moved to NYC. Sorry but I’ve been here longer than you, so stop being a know it all.

We walk a long time through the park, and I can tell he is looking to find the more secluded areas. When we are in a place with few people that’s when he wants to sit. Then he tries to put his arm around me. I just met you, and I’m giving off the signs that I don’t want to get close to you so stop trying. It’s been a couple hours, so I start saying how I need to get back to Brooklyn to do my chores for the day (the date was last minute, and I actually did need to get home for some stuff, though not why I said it). He kept telling me I could do that stuff anytime, but I insisted. As we were making our way towards getting out of the park he is talking about getting together again to have fun, and I here myself agreeing half heartedly.

He keeps trying to put his arm around me, and I am repulsed by this guy. I know I don’t want him to try to kiss me or anything, and I prefer to be straight with people. I then tell him that I had a great time, and he’s really nice, but I’m just not into him in that way, and could we just be friends. He is okay at first, but as we continue to make our way out of the park he starts telling me how when I’m older that I will regret this. That “women in there 20’s and 30’s always regret the guys they let go,” and why don’t we “get together to have fun,” and that “he has his guy friends so he doesn’t really need me as a friend.” I’m just thinking who they hell are you? I just wanted to break out laughing at him. When he said you’re supposed to date at this age I said “I date plenty.” It was all I could do to keep from telling him I date guys who are hotter, older, and more interesting than him. We finally split when I headed towards a separate subway (THANK GOD). I’m just pissed I wasted my day off. Guys if a girl isn’t that into you get over it. I was being nice, and he kept acting like I could magically change the fact that not a molecule in my being is attracted to him.

On a side note I can’t stop thinking about the British guy. I should really give them names, since there have been multiple ones, but I am usually referring to the one I’ve been dating. I can’t wait to sleep with him because everything else was amazing, but I also just got a text to get drinks with this guy I met in a bar last Thursday. When it rains it pours. But sadly it usually pours douchebags.

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I lost my virginity one week before my seventeenth birthday. I was never like most girls. I wanted to lose my v card to someone who was only a friend, and who was very experienced in bed. Instead I lost it to my boyfriend, Riley, who I was in love with, and who was also a virgin. His birthday is right by mine and he was about to turn twenty. We had hooked up before summer, and instantly liked one another, but I refused to be in a relationship with him until halfway through summer. He had gone back to his hometown for summer, but we talked constantly, partially because he liked to get drunk and call me in the middle of the night, and ramble on romantically.

Random, I know.He visited me many times during the summer, and I would stay at his apartment, but we decided to wait to have sex until he came back for good. He returned August 13th, and I made sure to tell my mother I was staying at a friend’s house (I didn’t tell her about Riley until a few years later, and I think it’s a feat to keep a year long relationship secret from your parents). He called me at the last minute and told me he needed to work that night, so I would have to come over late. I was pissed off. Where was I supposed to go before then? Couldn’t stay at my house. So I went to a movie with one of my guy friends. On the way there I was in a terrible mood until American Pie came on the radio. First we went to dinner, where I stole a spoon (I call it my virginity spoon). Then we went to see a movie. When we came out of the movie I had a TON of calls from Riley. He had gotten off work early and thought I was mad and just not answering.

I went to Riley’s place. I still remember what I was wearing, a black tank top and jeans. After a couple awkward tries of getting it in, we were having sex. I had stretched myself out a bit before that, so it didn’t hurt much. Afterwards we both admitted to each other that while the sex wasn’t bad, it was nowhere near as big a deal as we thought it would be. Then we did it a few more times. My one recommendation I make to all virgins that I didn’t do: Use lube. For all women us lube, it makes it sooooooooooooo much better.

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