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Posts Tagged ‘penis’

My best friend decided one night to set me up with her sexy French roommate. He came out bar hopping with our group, and we immediately hit it off. By the end of the night we were making out in the bar. We decided to head back to my apartment. We loaded up on drunken take out food, and went back to my place where we ate and hung out. Finally we started fooling around. I was very drunk, so the details are fuzzy. I do remember it being the worst fingering of my life. Like super painful, and I ket saying “Be gentle”. He wasn’t. That’s as far as it went. He was a good cuddler though.

Barcelona!

Barcelona!

I love to cuddle. Like LOVE IT. Yet even with a gorgeous guy who was a great cuddler I wasn’t into it. The next morning I just wanted him gone. I’ve had this before where after sex I just want them to leave so I can watch Buffy and eat junk food. This has taught me an important lesson.

RULE: If you just want a man out of bed after anything sexual, or the next morning, then you don’t like him.

Sometimes we try so hard to convince ourselves we like a guy, but often we don’t. A guy you like you will want to spend all day in bed with. You will want to fall asleep next to them. If you’re not feeling that, then you don’t like them. Remember that.

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So blow jobs are often the bane of every woman’s existence. I have never had much problem with them before, until recently. I like oral as an appetizer to sex, but not the main course. Recently though I began dating my sexy older man. At first he pleased me a bunch because it seemed like he was a guy who just wanted to go down on a girl a ton. Yay. Sometimes though the oral began going on for too long. I like oral like any girl, but at some point if I haven’t come yet, I’m not going to and instead I’m bored.

New MexicoThen he started wanting blow jobs to go on forever. He also has a very large penis which makes this more aggravating. He also asks for blow jobs by asking if you will “kiss him”. Something is irksome about that, but it is better than a guy who pushes your head toward their dick. Those guys my friends and I say we will never blow.

At some point during blowing him I would finally beg him to fuck me, but instead he just wanted to finish off orally. This is especially true for when we were doing 69. I know hardly any women who actually enjoy 69. The position is awkward and slightly gross. I would rather take turns, and honestly I don’t even notice what is going on with my vagina when I am trying to suck someone else off.

Luckily this has all gotten a bit better, and we’ve found a happy medium. But it just sucks when a man who is terrific at sex and who has a huge penis just wants oral because then we women just feel like we’re missing out.

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So I recently began a summer fling with a man most people would deem too old for me. We hang out at the same bar, and share many of the same friends. I didn’t know or think about his age when we first began to hit it off. I’m twenty-one, and often date guys in their early thirties.

One night I go home with him, and we fool around a bit, and then lie and talk for a while. Finally I ask him his age. He has me guess, and I say around 28 29. He admits a few moments later that he is older than that… by ten years. I’m lying in bed with someone who is 38. He’s basically old enough to have fathered me. At the same time he is interesting and smart. He builds websites for a living and is a vegetarian, recycles everything, and rides a bike everywhere. Generally a good guy, says my friends who have known him a while. (P.S. riding a bike everywhere ensures that you have a rocking body at 38).

Who doesn't love the muppets?Now in our society where do we draw a line on age gaps? My mother has always been okay with my dating guys in their early thirties, but I know this would be too much for her to handle. Also I am soon moving to London, so no matter what this is only a summer fling.

Should we not date men nearly 20 years older than us?

I could date a guy my own age for the summer who treats me like crap, or I could date a man much too old for me who bought me a toothbrush to have at his apartment on the second weekend I was there. Is it better to date a nice guy, or an appropriate guy?

For now I’m sticking with my sexy older man. Plus watching him sing Young Girl at karaoke was hilarious, and completely appropriate.

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Spots that turn a decent amount of girls on, and most men as well:

  • Kissing the back of the neck. We like that so please do it. While we’re spooning is nice, but feel free to come up behind us, pull our hair aside and kiss the back of our necks.
  • The ear is a great place. The key is to do it right. Don’t slobber over our ears. Gently nibble on the, and for the best effect let out a little breath or even a ever so soft moan into our ear and it will get us going. Same works on guys, believe me.
  • Our inner thighs are crucial. If you want to eat us out don’t just stay on our pussy. Take moments to tease us by moving away and kissing the inside of our thighs.
  • Our fingertips are a great sensitive area. Please kiss them and just slightly put them in you mouth. It’s hot and feels good.
  • Pulling our hair gently feels great. It reminds us that you aren’t entirely a good little boy.

If only snow wasn't so cold.

So everyone remember that you have to give love to a lot of different spots on the body. Not just the genitals.

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Now I have never been a fan of the idea of food sex. I love food. And I love sex, but the idea of combining to two just seemed like a messy idea that probably would sound better than it would be. This I have found is not actually the case. Now the key I have learned is in moderation. If you cover large portions of yourself in whip cream your just going to end up sticky and gross, but if you use it in moderation it can be a lot of tasty fun.

Washington Square Park

This new guy and I decided on the spur of the moment to have some fun with whip cream. We picked up a can on the way back to his place. There we fooled around on the couch and the floor, and using the whip cream. He would squirt just a dab of it on my nipple and eat it off. Or make a a happy trail on me and eat it all the way down. Now the key hear was using just a little bit at a time. I would do the same to him. Just put a little in your partner’s erogenous zone and lick it off. It’s a lot of fun.

He actually lived with his parents though, and the next day he had to explain to his mom why he had a bottle of whip cream in his room, and a condom wrapper in his pant’s pocket.

This experience also reminded me of the crazy food sex ideas my friends and I would come up with when we were just dirty minded kids. The top two were masturbating with a candy bar, which would make you taste good if a guy ate you out after. The other was to get hot doughnuts from Krispy Kreme and put them on a guys penis and eat them off . Makes for an interesting and tasty start to a blow job. To be clear I’ve never actually tried either of these, they were just wild ideas. But if you do try them let me know how it goes.

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I date in NYC, so I have seen just about every line guys use to get you back to their apartment, or yours. At the end of a date a guy will try to entice you back to their place.

  • Trying to invite you over for a drink, or to share a bottle of wine. The drinking portion will last two seconds, and they they will be trying to get into your pants.
  • Saying that they have a great roof to hang out on. They also have a bedroom, but they don’t bring that up until five minutes of hanging out on the roof.
  • Television, watching a movie, or watching a sports game is less used, but I have seen it. And you will not get to watch any of the movie.
  • Weed. And you’ll only actually get to smoke if you’re lucky. Sometimes they’re asses who promise to smoke you up, but only try to screw you instead.
  • If they have a car in NYC, they will try to offer to give you a ride home in hopes that once your in the car it will be harder for you to say no to coming over.

Cony Island

Know one thing, even if you tell them before you agree to come over that you will not be fooling around with them, and that you hate when guys try that, they still will. Rule of thumb, DO NOT go to their place unless you want to fool around.

Also, even your place is a no no. They will still try to get into your pants. Do not think you are better off at fending them off there.

And men, the reason women don’t want to sleep with you is because you are always trying to immediately get into their pants. Just because you spent $7 on a gin an tonic does not mean we are fair game. This especially goes for not as attractive looking men going on a date with a more attractive girl. In their mind they are already taking a step down the looks ladder because they like your personality. They are NOT going to sleep with you right away. Women will sleep with gorgeous guys sooner, but that’s because they are more sexually attracted to them.

Recently I went out with this short so-so looking guy. He was a few inches shorter than me, and not as attractive as I usually date, but he had a great personality. Our date was really fun, and we had lots to talk about. After he offered me a ride home, then he tried to talk me into coming back to his place to share a bottle of wine. I said no, but that he could come over to my place and drink it. He was up for it, until I mentioned that I shared a room with a girl, he then abruptly dropped me off at my place. Ya he’s definitely an ass, and I may sound cocky, but he’s definitely not hot enough for me to fool around with right away.

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My friend was recently strapped for cash, so she took a job as a professional dominatrix at a dungeon. She’s never done this sort of work before, but the ┬ámanager seemed nice and told her no sex was involved.

She went in for her first night where she would be training by working with the other girls. She kept getting offered jobs, but a lot of them she turned down. One man she turned down liked to have four girls in the room. One to have for him to look at, one to twist his nipples,one to jerk him off , and one to shove a dildo up his ass. I don’t actually think this is legal. He is a regular supposedly, so they do things they normally don’t do for most clients. You can understand why she didn’t want to work that job.

Next she was offered to wrestle a man in her underwear. He was in a speedo and he taught the girls wrestling moves and had them try them out on him, but he did not wrestle back. They choked him, and kicked him in the balls repeatedly.

She decided to turn down a bunch of jobs because she didn’t want to pee on anyone, give an enema, or make out with other girls (her boyfriend considers that cheating). She was just about to give up and quit when the manager told her there was a man coming in who only wanted to smoke cigarettes with her, so she agreed. She came in and he asked for some time to prepare for the session. She left the room and when she came back he was buck naked wearing a mask that had a tube coming from his mouth. She had to puff the ciggs and blow smoke through the tube to him while he jacked himself off. Some people are turned on by strange things. For this she got paid $80 and a $20 tip. She had to smoke like 10 ciggs and her mouth tasted of smoke until the next night.

So if you are considering working at a dungeon know that it is not all whipping men and calling them names. It is a sketchy business that is only suited for some.

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