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Posts Tagged ‘romance’

All girls, and guys for that matter, have it. The number off the people we’ve slept with. It is a number we love or hate. I personally HATE my number. I never tell anyone but close, nonjudgmental friends. Usually ones whose numbers are larger. My number is 24. I am 21 and started having sex at 17. This number seems to be astronomical, but the funny thing is I don’t have sex constantly. I start seeing someone, after a bit we sleep together, and then a lot of the time it doesn’t pan out, or I move. I usually sleep with five guys a year. That’s one for every couple of months. It’s not like I’m bringing home a new guy every night, but when I look at that number that’s what it feels like. Like that word we all think, but never want to say, SLUT. I get tested, I always ALWAYS use a condom, and I always ask about STD’s first (and yes I know guys might lie, but it’s better to at least ask). So….

How many men is too many men? (or women)

Sagrada Familia in Barcelona

I think that it should be as long as you enjoy it and you’re safe it’s okay, but no matter what I still know men and society would judge me. A guy asks, but never wants to hear a girl list a number that high. Honestly it’s bullshit, that it’s okay for men to sleep with anything, but because my number is high and I’m a woman it’s considered slutty.

I look back at my list and there are mistakes. Men I wish I could erase. Losers who were using me for sex, but growing up is about mistakes, and I’ve never once gotten pregnant or gotten an STD so I think I’m doing good. There are also plenty of men I’ve enjoyed, and who I’m happy I’ve slept with, even if it wasn’t about a lasting relationship. Sometimes the sex, the cuddling, and the continual friendship I’ve had with them is what it’s about.

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So when my sexy older man is going down on me he started to do something with my feet I wasn’t used to. He would put them around his penis with his hands, and start to move them in a way that I was basically giving a foot job. Now this does not bother me at all. I’m not really into foot fetishes as can be seen in my previous posts, but a foot job turned out to be a lot easier than a hand job. He did most of the work, and I let him use my feet. Plus he was able to eat me out while he did this.

Feet seem to becoming more and more prevalent in our society. More and more often I’m meeting men who admit to liking feet. Now not all of them want to suck on my toes like one of my ex’s, but it seems each man has a different version of a foot fetish. Some just want to touch them, some want to suck on your toes, and some want a foot job. I honestly cannot understand the appeal of a woman’s feet. They are smelly and not that attractive, but I guess they are today’s new it body part. Men please explain this to me.

Soon I learned my sexy older man had an even more selective foot fetish. One night he asked me to bring over stockings. I luckily have a nice pair of black thigh highs with bows on the top. I wore them for him and after I had finished during sex he used my feet to give himself a foot job again. Afterwards he explained that he has had this fetish of stocking foot jobs most of his life. He especially likes white stockings.

Later when discussing this with a friend she admitted to dating a guy with the same fetish, but with her once she had done it once she was expected to do it every time. Her guy would pout and whine if she did not have stockings. Luckily my sexy older man is not like this. I have done it once so far, and am willing to do it again but he never presses the issue much.

But when did stocking foot jobs become the IT foot fetish, and does it really feel more awesome than a vagina or a mouth?

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So I recently began a summer fling with a man most people would deem too old for me. We hang out at the same bar, and share many of the same friends. I didn’t know or think about his age when we first began to hit it off. I’m twenty-one, and often date guys in their early thirties.

One night I go home with him, and we fool around a bit, and then lie and talk for a while. Finally I ask him his age. He has me guess, and I say around 28 29. He admits a few moments later that he is older than that… by ten years. I’m lying in bed with someone who is 38. He’s basically old enough to have fathered me. At the same time he is interesting and smart. He builds websites for a living and is a vegetarian, recycles everything, and rides a bike everywhere. Generally a good guy, says my friends who have known him a while. (P.S. riding a bike everywhere ensures that you have a rocking body at 38).

Who doesn't love the muppets?Now in our society where do we draw a line on age gaps? My mother has always been okay with my dating guys in their early thirties, but I know this would be too much for her to handle. Also I am soon moving to London, so no matter what this is only a summer fling.

Should we not date men nearly 20 years older than us?

I could date a guy my own age for the summer who treats me like crap, or I could date a man much too old for me who bought me a toothbrush to have at his apartment on the second weekend I was there. Is it better to date a nice guy, or an appropriate guy?

For now I’m sticking with my sexy older man. Plus watching him sing Young Girl at karaoke was hilarious, and completely appropriate.

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The “click” is a crazy phenomenon. It does not happen often, but every once in a while you’re lucky to find someone you just click with. When you click it is instant. Suddenly you’re hanging out with someone and you don’t have to pause and think about things to talk about. There are also multiple levels of the click. Some people you instantly click with on the talking level, and some people it’s on the sexual level, but it’s crazy when you find both.

Then there are the people you have to work a little to click with. I recently dated this lawyer, and we kinda clicked. We liked some of the same movies and he was intelligent. Enough to make you agree to more dates, but nothing to make the butterflies go up and down in your stomach. Him taking me one really nice dates didn’t hurt either.

The same photo of mine that I use for my masthead.

The WORST though are the people you don’t click with at all. Tonight I went on a date with a guy and it was no click what so ever. I met him Friday night, but due to a drinking blackout (doesn’t usually happen to me) I didn’t remember him at all. My friend said he was very nice though, and his texts were hilarious, so I agreed to drinks. I met up with him and his friends at a bar. Let me preface this by saying he is Mexican, and works for the UN. He and his friends all speak spanish, and I do not.

When I saw him I instantly knew there was no click. He wasn’t disgusting, but definitely not my type, and as we hung out it became more clear. Everyone was playing this game scategories, and my completely sucking at this game didn’t help to put me at ease. Also since he and his friends would often forget, they would ramble on to each other in spanish, and I would be stuck awkwardly sitting there wondering what everyone at the table is saying. I don’t mean any of this to be offensive, but as I’ve learned from many occasions, when you’re the only one to not speak the language it’s basically no fun at all.

Finally I was able to excuse myself, with the plea of a lot of work to do at home, and gracefully made my exit. Sadly it only reminded me further that a good click is hard to find.

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I date in NYC, so I have seen just about every line guys use to get you back to their apartment, or yours. At the end of a date a guy will try to entice you back to their place.

  • Trying to invite you over for a drink, or to share a bottle of wine. The drinking portion will last two seconds, and they they will be trying to get into your pants.
  • Saying that they have a great roof to hang out on. They also have a bedroom, but they don’t bring that up until five minutes of hanging out on the roof.
  • Television, watching a movie, or watching a sports game is less used, but I have seen it. And you will not get to watch any of the movie.
  • Weed. And you’ll only actually get to smoke if you’re lucky. Sometimes they’re asses who promise to smoke you up, but only try to screw you instead.
  • If they have a car in NYC, they will try to offer to give you a ride home in hopes that once your in the car it will be harder for you to say no to coming over.

Cony Island

Know one thing, even if you tell them before you agree to come over that you will not be fooling around with them, and that you hate when guys try that, they still will. Rule of thumb, DO NOT go to their place unless you want to fool around.

Also, even your place is a no no. They will still try to get into your pants. Do not think you are better off at fending them off there.

And men, the reason women don’t want to sleep with you is because you are always trying to immediately get into their pants. Just because you spent $7 on a gin an tonic does not mean we are fair game. This especially goes for not as attractive looking men going on a date with a more attractive girl. In their mind they are already taking a step down the looks ladder because they like your personality. They are NOT going to sleep with you right away. Women will sleep with gorgeous guys sooner, but that’s because they are more sexually attracted to them.

Recently I went out with this short so-so looking guy. He was a few inches shorter than me, and not as attractive as I usually date, but he had a great personality. Our date was really fun, and we had lots to talk about. After he offered me a ride home, then he tried to talk me into coming back to his place to share a bottle of wine. I said no, but that he could come over to my place and drink it. He was up for it, until I mentioned that I shared a room with a girl, he then abruptly dropped me off at my place. Ya he’s definitely an ass, and I may sound cocky, but he’s definitely not hot enough for me to fool around with right away.

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So I have found that all men tend to make the same mistakes which lead to women not wanting to sleep with them. Lately every guy I go out with has actually made me not ever want to sleep with them even though I am craving sex like no other. So men here is what women want in a nutshell:

Women want to feel like sex is their idea!

Art Piece on top of the Met

I know you think your chances are getting better by nudging us towards sex, but unless she is a desperate slut with no feeling of self worth she is more likely to sleep with you if you don’t push. Here is an example:

I dated this dominican guy a while back (the one with the foot fetish and who banged me like a jackhammer in a bad way) well he never tried anything more then kissing in the car. He never invited me back to his place to “watch tv” or “drink wine” (women are not idiots). So it got to the point where I was dying to sleep with him and asked him to stay the night at my place. He got laid.

We drifted apart soon after, and I didn’t really care because he was shit in bed. Now I had met his brother on our second date when he took me to a family barbecue (awkward date, never ask a girl to something like this especially if everyone there speaks spanish and she doesn’t). Well his brother is an actor and we had a great chat so we became facebook friends. A week ago his brother asked me out after finding out we haven’t been dating for a while. I promise it wasn’t as weird as it sounds. We went out and grabbed dinner and had a fun time. We sat in his car at the end of the date and he kissed me, and he seemed kind of sweet and nice. We had talked about watching a movie and getting stoned sometime, so he invited me over for Wednesday. I usually never got to a guy’s place on a second date, but I made an exception.

I get there and he is all over me. He suggests watching tv in the bedroom and we’ll “get to the movies later”. Now HERE is where he made his mistake. I was immediately turned off because he kind of forced fooling around as soon as I got in the door. Unlike the British guy who would turn on the tv and we would cuddle and talk for a little while before getting to it, this guy tried to get me straight away.

Now how to get laid is to make the girl feel like sex isn’t forced upon her. If you invite her over to watch movies and smoke pot, follow through on it for a bit. Smoke pot, start a movie, as if your innocent and the plan wasn’t just to fuck her. Then see if she starts to come to you during the movie. If she doesn’t try subtly to get her a few kisses here and there and see how she responds. If she’s not into it and you try to force it most likely you won’t get laid then or ever in the future. Sometimes patience is a virtue.

Girls find it sexy when they feel like they are pushing sex on the guy. It’s a huge turn on for it to be our idea, and ours alone.

Also if you are making out and you try moving the girls hand down to your crotch that is most likely a mistake. If you do it once and she doesn’t seem into it, leave it be, because most likely she’ll just get annoyed and never want to get you off. You have a better chance of trying to fool around with her parts then you getting her to fool around with yours. Ya women also only really care about themselves and if they’re going to get off.

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When I lost my virginity it was very much planned. I’m not talking candles or any of that nonsense, but I knew who and what day I was losing it. So I had time to prepare myself. Here is my advice to any girl who is about to pop their cherry. Sorry guys, I don’t really have any advice for you other than practice putting on a condom.

  • Stretch yourself out. I was one of the lucky girls who didn’t bleed (years of dancing probably did the trick), but either way it will hurt less and make you less nervous if you aren’t quite as tight. Hopefully it will keep you from bleeding as well. You can do this a number of ways. Fingering is one. Masturbation using a vibrator. One of the best ways is to stretch yourself out in the bath tub. The hot water helps.
  • Make sure you have a lot of foreplay. There is no need to rush, and if the guy is trying to rush you he probably isn’t worth fucking. The foreplay gets you wet and ready and will help make for better sex.
  • My biggest advice is USE LUBE. I didn’t for my first time, but later in life when I discovered lubrication I realized it was God’s gift to women. It will help make you a little less sore after your first time. Even if you are wet that can disappear during sex. Lube will last longer. It takes a little while to find the right lube. Make sure it is one that won’t hurt the condom.
  • And of course I know it’s corny, but make sure you are ready. Every woman should remember that sex is never about pleasing a man. It is about pleasing yourself. I don’t do things in bed to make the man happy. I do things that make myself happy, and that usually ends up pleasing them even more because I am enjoying it.
  • Oh and make sure the guys not a douche. He doesn’t have to be your boyfriend or anything, but if he’s an asshole you will regret it.

Just know that there is no flash of lightning, no sudden change. It may be awful. Even if it’s not it will probably be mediocre. You’ll be confused of why sex is a big deal. Believe me it gets better. It gets addictive and amazing.

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